Ep 24: Compassionate Leadership Without the Burnout: Be a Bowl, Not a Sponge

Trying to support your team without burning out? You might be missing one key trauma-informed leadership skill.

You care about your people. You want them to feel safe coming to you with their concerns. But every time someone shares their stress, anger, or worry with you, you walk away feeling drained — and take their stress home with you.

It feels like you have to choose: Be a compassionate leader OR Protect your energy.

That’s exactly the dilemma "Stephanie," a dedicated healthcare leader, faced. She was exhausted from managing constant drama at work. She was emotionally fried and on the verge of quitting leadership altogether.

In this episode, I share the powerful “Be a Bowl, Not a Sponge” exercise — a simple, trauma-informed leadership tool I’ve used for more than 20 years. It’s helped hundreds of leaders (including me!) stay grounded, centered, and present, even in the middle of emotional storms.

If you want to lead with emotional intelligence and support your team without absorbing their stress, this episode will show you how.

🎧 Hit PLAY and let’s get started.

You’ll learn:

• Why your mind might be tricking you into thinking your team’s stress is your own
• A creative visualization technique that helps you protect your energy in real time
• How to lead with compassion without taking responsibility for everyone else’s emotions
• Why emotional intelligence in leadership hinges on knowing what to hold — and what to release

🎧 Hit PLAY and let’s get started.

💼 Want more help building a drama-free team that gets along—and gets results?
Apply for on-air leadership coaching (spots are limited).

0:56 – The Empathy Trap: Why Leaders Take On Emotions That Aren’t Theirs
Why caring leaders often absorb stress—and how it leads to burnout and overwhelm.

2:15 – Mirror Neurons and the Science Behind Emotional Contagion
The surprising reason your body reacts so strongly when others are upset—and what to do about it.

5:10 – Real-Life Burnout: A Leader on the Verge of Quitting
What nearly pushed one healthcare leader to walk away—and how she turned it around.

7:00 – Be a Bowl, Not a Sponge: The Tool That Changes Everything
A simple, grounding exercise to help you stay clear, calm, and present during emotional conversations.

10:45 – The Ripple Effect of Modeling Healthy Boundaries at Work
How staying grounded helps your team feel safer—and keeps you from burning out.

💡 Other episodes you’ll love:

• How to Give Honest Feedback without Starting A Fight

• Can’t Relax After Work Because You’re Worried You Didn’t Do Enough? Let’s Fix That

🧘‍♀️ Activity from This Episode:

📍 Try This: Be a Bowl, Not a Sponge

Here’s the simple, visualization-based exercise shared in this episode to help you stay grounded as a compassionate leader — so you can support your team without absorbing their stress.

Be a Bowl, Not a Sponge: 5 Steps

1. Imagine a bowl you love.
   Picture yourself holding a beautiful glass bowl in your lap — one that feels calming and meaningful to you. (Glass works best because it doesn’t absorb what’s poured into it.)
   
   
2. Make it big.
   In your mind’s eye, make the bowl so large that it fills your lap. This helps your nervous system stay open and grounded during emotionally charged conversations.
   
   
3. Let their words pour into the bowl.
   As the other person speaks, visualize their emotions, words, and energy flowing into the bowl — not into your body. You’re still listening, just not absorbing.
   
   
4. Empty the bowl.
   After the conversation, imagine gently pouring the bowl’s contents into a peaceful place — like a stream, garden, or any setting that feels attractive and safe.
   
   
5. Let go with intention.
   Remind yourself that offering support doesn’t mean carrying the burden. You’re leading with empathy and healthy boundaries — modeling exactly what your team needs to see.